What do you do?

I'm in a place where I didn't have a lot of choice about being in. Ok so I'm here. Or am I really? This weekend I was in Lehi again. My mother had taken a turn for the worse and she almost died. I had to get there as soon as I could. I spend three days going down to Payson to care for her and my dad. I would go back to Lehi absolutely exhausted! Wiped out!

I found that all my life I was working at making everybody happy. Making sure everyone was doing well. I always put forth my best effort to do the best by everyone. But when I went to Lehi I realized that no one was doing that for me? Not that I was expecting anyone to. It was just interesting as my older kids went their separate ways without a word of where they were going. Then It made me wonder if anyone would be there to take care of me when became frail, or blind as life progresses? Hmm I do wonder?

As I have become familiar with the routine of flying into San Francisco Airport I felt very alone. My flight had a young couple investing time and love into a little child. I wanted to say to them don't do it! They just grow up and leave. Don't do it! They really won't love you the same later. I was longing for my little kids, longing for Utah yet longing to be with James and Britt in HBB. Just dang lonesome. Again feeling a loss of home, and hoping for happiness and success in my new spot, or plot? Part of it is I feel my time of quality life is short. That my vision is failing and that my time for the normals joys is short. Seeing how fast my mother is at the end of mortality is surreal, sobering. Where are all the crowds that surround her. She should be constantly surrounded by grandchildren and children, but she's not.

Ok, enough of that!

It's finally happening SUNSHINE!!! They said the Falls are beautiful here. And I'm holding everyone to that! Today was Sunday, James was sustained as a member of the San Francisco South Stake High Counsel. He will be working with the Relief Society and the Philippine ward. We also had our first official meeting for early morning Seminary. It's at the teacher's home. And starts at 6:10 in the morning! To say the least miss sunshine Britt turned into dark brewing storm front Britt. I guess the whole thing sounds like WORK. She was mean, grumpy and an all around broodster!! No great friendships made today Britt! I think she scared off all the boys. She fights learning, she fights anything that makes her stretch! Well here we go elastic band. She is going to stretch!

James and I were given our visiting teaching, home teaching assignments. Strange thing is not enough active people to have a partner. So were flying solo. James has six people to contact, I have two. One who sill like me calling and one who will not.

I heard today that if you walk on the shore path by the Ritz hotel tonight at sundown you can hear bagpipes playing until the sun falls beyond the horizon. See there are perks here. Just try to not enjoy a sunset on the beaches of the Pacific Ocean. Dare you to not not smile just a little.

Best of all this Adventure is every single amazing person I have met. Love them, enjoy them, and most of all I am grateful for them.

FRAN;0